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    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMar 14th 2009
     
    Hi Pulaubesar78. how are you? hope to hear from you again. I missed reading your funny stories. Lulu
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMar 16th 2009 edited
     
    Dear All, I would like to post 'Question of the week' as a subject to discuss, please do not feel obligate to answer. Also, anyone of us can post a question or raise an issue so we all can share our thoughts.

    "What was your most memorable moment during the boat journey?"
    •  
      CommentAuthorjeanluc
    • CommentTimeMar 17th 2009
     
    you mean beside the near-death experiences?

    for me, that would be swimming ashore. at night.
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMar 17th 2009 edited
     
    I know how spooky that would be, from scuba diving at night, but nothing like what you have experienced. I wasn't trying to sneak in a country illegally. Bless your heart!
    • CommentAuthorTuan
    • CommentTimeMar 18th 2009
     
    I would say my first life lesson.

    We were pulled hard by the Malaysian Navy ship. Our boat started to filled up with water from the hole that we tried to sink the boat when we landed Malaysian shore. The Navy use a piece of rag and plug the hole with a block of wood. Our boat sailors were exhausted and need help. When I look around, I only saw people just stared and then looked away as I don’t care attitude. One young guy volunteered, he looked around and said “Shame of you all”. I felt ashamed, and I motioned my brother to come with me to help bailed out the water. My Dad stopped me and said “It’s their job, we paid for them to do it”. I was angry and just gave him a look then forwarded down to the bellow cabin to help bail the water out. My head was just rushed with a thought “How could he, we are about to die here”.

    When that event was over, my dad was no longer my hero. I used to have a dream of being my Dad when I grow up. The image of him wearing the Army uniform was just so inspired. I’m still respect and love him as my dad, but I just don’t want to be him anymore.

    From that moment on, I started to see thing very clearly. The outside image isn’t what it seems. Death really show the true colors. It was so true for the Doctors, Engineers, Lawyers and even an officer like my dad. They were all on our boat and only care for themselves when they were facing the lowest of the lowest…
    •  
      CommentAuthorjeanluc
    • CommentTimeMar 18th 2009
     
    one of my life lessons was from cleaning house for rich people who pay very little for good work.

    that was demeaning. but hey, one's got to work for $$, right?
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMar 18th 2009 edited
     
    Tuan, it takes courage to reveal your lesson like you did. I know how how difficult it is to even think that way about your father (ex-hero)and how painful it is when your childhood hero failed you, left alone talked about it. Perhaps, it helps us heal our hidden wounds, like you said.
    • CommentAuthorTuan
    • CommentTimeMar 19th 2009 edited
     
    Thanks for kind words Carina. Perhaps it is.

    Since I was 18, I practiced “Forgive and forget”. It work pretty well for me and it make who I’m now. It was hard like you said but just for that moment. Perhaps that practice suppress my pain but not releasing it. After I read your comment this morning before I was heading to work, I start to wonder that myself. I searched my emotion for any sparks left for that event while driving. And none I found. I guess after I confronted my Dad many years ago about that event, he denied it, or he didn’t realized what he said, or he forgot it. But doesn’t matter what it was, that confrontation did not change my mind. In fact, it gave me a new understanding. I realized that human mind is selfish or the Buddhist says EGO, and only the mind can give us values, pride and all other high low stuff. When survival instinct kicks in, we are nothing but just show our true nature, vicious and selfish. Only the one who do NOT FEAR can rise above it. Like that young man in my story. Without that young man, I would do what my dad said. He waked me up and made me realized how important it was to help and or sacrifice.

    "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of a few or the one" - Mr. Spock :)
    •  
      CommentAuthorhg3438_hung
    • CommentTimeMar 20th 2009 edited
     
    Tuan,

    Your story reminds me of a favorite quote of Plutarch "The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune". I feel you not only became a man on that day, you also rised to the occasion and faced the challenge head on. Bravo!

    I see many heros but I have no idol, because idol implies perfection.
    IMO, our heros are made of circumstances. Once outside of their elements, they're just ordinary people and will make bad judgements. There's no perfect blueprint in us. We are all unique in our own way.
    • CommentAuthorTuan
    • CommentTimeMar 21st 2009
     
    Thanks hg3438,

    Yeah, I don’t believe in idol either. I believe we are perfect from the day we came to the day we leave this earth. If we know that, everything else are just external judgement. I spent over 50 years on this earth and all I can recall are just a bunch of rise and fall, like everyone else.

    Lulu, there were a doctor on my boat, he was with his wife and 2 boys. He camped next to us when we first got on the island. His wife was raped by the Thai pirates when we all could not do anything to help. I guess he was traumatized by the sight of his wife was being raped or something, he became so quiet and withdraw after that incident. I heard his wife cried so many times and they had small arguments once in awhile. Later when the hospital was built he moved and I've never seen him again. Sometime circumstances dictated the outcome. I’m really confused by the whole ordeal once in awhile. Maybe that was the reason why he didn’t show up to help at first?
  11.  
    Tuan,

    Your views are intriguing. Next time you stop by the South Jersey and Philadelphia area, let me know. Maybe we can spend sometime shooting the breeze in a Cafe.
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMar 21st 2009
     
    you just give me a business idea.....'dating/connection service' hehe.
  13.  
    LOL. I like that, lulu. On a second thought, I prefer 'social networking'. I'd be in deep doo doo if she finds out I sign up for any 'dating' service. That's the ground for divorce, definitely.
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMar 21st 2009 edited
     
    HG3438:
    Brother, if it saves your butt, then 'social networking' it is.
    BYW, did you receive few emails from me since yesterday?
    •  
      CommentAuthorhg3438_hung
    • CommentTimeMar 22nd 2009 edited
     
    Hehe. Yep, I need all the help that I can get.

    Thanks for the mails. Kuku appears to be more organized in the map. I must have been drawn after 1980. I completely forgot about the market place. The pix does bring some of the faded memories. In the early days before the market place, I recall cigarretes were used as currencies. Somehow later we switched to Indo Rupiah(?).

    The maps and pictures are great resources in telling the youngsters about life on Kuku. They are real treasures. Thanks to Thanh Dang as well.
    • CommentAuthorTuan
    • CommentTimeMar 23rd 2009 edited
     
    Hey hg3438,

    Wow, you are not very far from me. My brother lives in Cherry Hill, NJ. If you ever heading dow to visit Washington DC, we can hook up at Eden Center (Vietnamese Shopping Center) for lunch or something.

    Lulu, I tried to sketch the island when we were there, but I have no idea where the places were. I've never looked at the camp from above. We climb on top of the hill several times but just to go beyond it for firewoods and on the trip back we were so busy lugging the woods.

    In our time the market was by the creek where the water fountain was. In Thanh's scketch there were 2 creeks and I only remember 1. The school was right by the hillside where the Pagoda was.
    The Hospital was along the hillside where the Helicopter Landing trip was. The Church was on that side too. Along the beach there were a few wooden sheds made by the local Indos and a bunch of coffee shops. We didn't have any harbour, the boat dock built from the UN compound straight out the to east bay of the island (I swam out there many times when the UN personnel weren't there). There were a Baptist Church on the east side closed to the UN compound. To the end of the east side up the hill was our famous toilet. Only the indos sheds are made of woods everything else made out of small trees and plastic sheets.
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMar 24th 2009 edited
     
    My hut was nearly at the center of the island. From there if we walk to the ocean, we will be very near to the jetty, and if we head to the mountain, we will not be too far from the church.
    •  
      CommentAuthorjeanluc
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2009
     
    if you want vietnamese, here is a google translation of carina's welcome message:



    General » Welcome to Carina's Forum Chung »Chào m?ng b?n ??n v?i Di?n ?àn c?a carina
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    1 to 1 of 1 1 ??n 1 / 1

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    1.
    * CommentAuthor lulu CommentAuthor Lulu
    * CommentTime 1 day ago CommentTime cách ?ây 1 tháng

    Welcome! Chào m?ng!

    You endured the perilous journey across the South China Sea. B?n endured các perilous hành trình trên Bi?n ?ông. You battled thunderstorms, dehydration, starvation, encountered pirates, or even lost loved ones before landing on a small uninhabited island. B?n battled Thunderstorms, dehydration, starvation, g?p pirates, ho?c th?m chí tr??c khi m?t ?i nh?ng ng??i thân yêu ?ích trên m?t hòn ??o nh? uninhabited.

    You are Not Alone! You are not alone!

    Sharing stories about your escaping experiences could help future generations understand what their parents went through and gain knowledge about a significant part of our history. Chia s? nh?ng câu chuy?n v? kinh nghi?m c?a b?n escaping có th? giúp ?? th? h? t??ng lai c?a h? hi?u nh?ng gì cha m? ?ã ?i qua và ??t ???c nh?ng ki?n th?c v? m?t ph?n c?a l?ch s? c?a chúng tôi.

    Carina’s Forum is a social community where you can connect with other Vietnamese Boat People, or with those who have loved ones that were Vietnamese Boat People. Carina c?a Di?n ?àn là m?t xã h?i c?ng ??ng mà ? ?ó b?n có th? k?t n?i v?i các thuy?n nhân dân Vi?t Nam, ho?c v?i nh?ng ng??i ?ã có nh?ng ng??i thân yêu ?ã ???c nhân dân Vi?t Nam thuy?n.

    Through Carina’s Forum you can make new friends or even find lost ones. Thông qua carina c?a Di?n ?àn b?n có th? k?t b?n hay th?m chí tìm th?y nh?ng ng??i thân b? th?t l?c.

    Even if you were not a boat person, but you somehow feel connected to this human episode of history, your contribution is more than welcome. Ngay c? khi b?n ?ã không ph?i là m?t thuy?n nhân, nh?ng b?n nào ?ó c?m th?y ???c k?t n?i ??n nay con ng??i episode c?a l?ch s?, ?óng góp c?a b?n nhi?u h?n là hoan nghênh.

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    •  
      CommentAuthorjeanluc
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2009
     
    not bad?
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeApr 3rd 2009
     
    not bad at all, thanks for trying, but too many question marks, can't make out what you wrote, perhaps, my Vietnfont is incompatible with yours?
    • CommentAuthorindo_gurl
    • CommentTimeApr 5th 2009
     
    lulu,

    When you go to indonesia can you ask is there a way i can apply for a birth certificate of indonesia at my age the am i now. of course with my situation being born in a refugee came could they make an exception ask who i can contact to get more information. thanks.
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeApr 5th 2009
     
    Hi, I am communicating with the Chief of Letung, and I think that he is also responsible for Kuku. I will do what I can. Meanwhile, email me full details (for a BC) before Wed. Cheers.
  23.  
    Indo_gurl

    Hope lulu will get you some good leads to the BC.
    It must've be inconvince w/o one, especially for K-12 schools. I remember they took Allien Card when I went to HS here in the states.

    Asian parents are creative when it comes to baby names.
    I just wonder, given your unsual birth place, were you given any ineresting names, such as Indo Princess, kuku miracle, Canada Express ? What would you name the baby in the same situation as yours ? I kind of like Indo Princess (pronounce like 'Zeng Do Kung joo' in catonese). Hope that did not offend you. I like interesting names, thus could not help asking.

    What about some pretty Vietnamese names for Indo Gurl, anyone ?
    • CommentAuthorindo_gurl
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2009
     
    hg3438,

    I ve been told in order to register for school you needed your birth certificate, i dont know how my parents register me for school without BC.

    Ive manage to live without it, able to get document i need just with my citzenship of canada. Now that im relocating to another country ive finding it diffcult with out BC.

    No my parent did not give me an original name, among my canadian friends my name was original when i met other asians my name was very common name.
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2009
     
    Vietnamese name for Indoesan gurl? how about Cong chua dao ruoi....hehe.
    I know, you're probably thinking 'she is sick in the head'
    •  
      CommentAuthorjeanluc
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2009
     
    is indoesian short for indonesian? or a col name you came up with?
    •  
      CommentAuthorhg3438_hung
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2009 edited
     
    Indo_Gurl,

    Before I got my US citizenship, I used to be quite mobile on the job traveling to Latin America and Europe. I recall some countries did take my original citizenship into consideration in the visa application. Vietnam was on their list of high risk countries. I think it was UK and Germany.

    Hope your relocation be smooth sailing.

    BTW, the vietnamese name 'cong chua dao ruoi' from lulu translates to princess from island of the flies. The flies were vicious in Kuku, so they certainly registered well in memory.
    • CommentAuthorindo_gurl
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2009
     
    jeanluc, hg3438

    When i found this forum, it asked for a username and password and i was trying to find information on my birth and it came to me to use indoesian_gurl cause of the country indonesia, I didnt realize i missed one letter oops poor spelling error.

    thanks hg3438 I'm crossing my fingers that I will get a response in couple of weeks and then i go to the states to be with my hubby.

    Reading everyone story on this forum bout their experiences has helped me understand my parents will and determination to leave their country for a better one for me and my siblings.

    Ill have to tell my parents bout this forum cause they could relate to other family who endure what they gone through.
    • CommentAuthorindo_gurl
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2009
     
    hg3438,

    Question for you hg3438?? Do you reside in the states?? and how long did it take you get your citzenship in the united states.
    •  
      CommentAuthorhg3438_hung
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2009 edited
     
    Indo_Gurl,

    Yes. Please share this forum with your parents and others. As Lulu puts it, we love to share stories and make friends through the forum. Feel free to ask quesitons about the refugee camps. We all have our own favorite moments to tell and probably forgot much over the years, hopefully, the questions help bringing back those memories.

    To answer your quesitons...I reside in central New Jersey, which is about 60 miles from NYC. Once you have a green card (Permanent Alian Status), it takes 5 years to be eligible for US citizenship.

    Where are you in Canada? I guess you are probably on the east coast. II've been in both coasts , Toronto and Vancouver. Where will you be residing in the states ? Let me guess..the east coast ?
    •  
      CommentAuthorjeanluc
    • CommentTimeApr 13th 2009
     
    indo grl:
    you can fix the spelling, or change it altogether in the "account" tab.
    jl
  32.  
    JeanLuc,

    Speaking of names, your alias reminds me of 'Nhat chin nhi bu' cuz it rythmes with 'chin dut' (sp?). Are you a high roller hommie? Thanks for the tips on another far east series. Got it.
    •  
      CommentAuthorjeanluc
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2009
     
    jeanluc was a code name given when was in the swiss guard.
  34.  
    There are so much going on nowadays. Occasionally, I just need to get something out of my system. Since this is a social forum, I thought it's appropriate to share what's on my mind, with absutely no particular interest.

    I've been doing a lot of driving lately for my son. He's 16 years old and dating his second girlfriend. My assignment is to drive him to her house, pick her up then drive them to the mall or theater. I'd pick them up afterward. This happens at least once a week. It seems to happen more often as time goes by. He's working me hard as if I am on a date, except I don't get any chick, of course. Worse yet, the wife sometimes complains why I gave in to the kid's request.

    It's not fair. When I dated, oh, many moons ago. I did not have any driver. I had to take the bus chase the skirts. Well, sometimes the skirts came landing on me too.

    So, what's on your mind lately ?
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMay 9th 2009
     
    And you call that a problem? you gatta be kidding. Imagine, if you have 7 teenagers all 1 year apart (like my parents) you and your wife would have to own a taxi service. On the other hand, you got it made when you were dating, you can do ANYTHING you want without your driver watching... hehehehehe
    •  
      CommentAuthorhg3438_hung
    • CommentTimeMay 9th 2009 edited
     
    LOL. That was funny. If I had that many kids, I would use a lottery system to decide who gets the ride, or I'll drive the ugly ones more often, ouch!
    •  
      CommentAuthorjeanluc
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2009
     
    what about the girl's parents? they would want to chaperone their own child's date too. if i were you, i'd get chummy with the parents and divide up the work. who knows, they might be in-laws in the future.
  38.  
    Happy Mother's Day.

    I didn't know about mother's day until I came to America.
    I spoke to friends from China and India. They said mother's day is not celebrated until recent decades. It feels good to know we all think about mom today.
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMay 11th 2009
     
    Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms.
    My 9 years old daughter brought me breakfast in bed (glass of water) and gave me a complimentary hands massasge.

    While I was living and working in VN (on and off) within the lat decade, it was fascinating to see that people there celebrate many special days: Ngay Thay thuoc (medical professionals day), ngay Thay giao (teachers day), ngay Thuong binh (veterans day), ngay Thieu nhi Quoc te(international children day), ngay Phu nu (women day). Then as the country becoming more adaptive to global economy and through international cultural exchange, and of course for commercial reason, Mother's day (ngay cac ba Me) and Valentine's day (ngay tinh nhan) became biggest floral sales days of the year.....
    • CommentAuthordangdthanh
    • CommentTimeMay 17th 2009
     
    Hi all,

    It's is graduation season in the US; while friends, acquaintance are announcing their children's / niece's/nephew's highschool/college... graduation, I ,instead, invite you to see my 5-year-old daughter ... pre-K graduation, which took place this morning at Kids R Kids facility in Duluth this morning :

    http://picasaweb.google.com/dangdthanh/Graduation#5336544302740860034

    The ceremony started with a salutation to the flag, then formal announcements, and the fun begun with students performances :

    Thie^n-A^n my daughter , recited a short poem :


    and a duet song:


    it even included rock 8-) :


    this farewell performance made some teary eyes (my wife included) :



    thanh dang
    •  
      CommentAuthorhg3438_hung
    • CommentTimeMay 18th 2009 edited
     
    Nice poem. I like "my friend is really not very much different from me".
    The pictures and captions are cute. My favorites are 'My Way' and the 2 pixs with mum and dad.
    My first child is also a lefty.
    The birthday post is beatiful. Good job dad.
  42.  
    Just happenned to watch ASIA 61 (Tran Thien Thanh II) the other day. Most of the songs are beatiful. Ho Hoang Yen is soooo hot. That made me feel old.

    mirror, mirror on the wall
    tell me the reflection is false
    mirror, mirror that is about to fall
    Am I really too old for her ?

    Happy Memorial Day long weekend to the fellow US members.
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMay 22nd 2009
     
    If you keep it in your 'dream' then you are never too old for anyone... ouch!
    BTY, I have not seen Ho Hoang Yen, she must be beautiful.
    •  
      CommentAuthorhg3438_hung
    • CommentTimeMay 22nd 2009 edited
     
    Only if I could avoid the darn mirror, but...I will keep dreaming on. Good advise.
    • CommentAuthorchouchou
    • CommentTimeMay 23rd 2009
     
    Old but young at heart. Whenever I was back with my old time friend, I always felt the same, as I was twenty something, full of laughter. Then you won'feel you are too old for Ho Hoang Yen, if your wife allows you.
  46.  
    ChouChou,

    Thanks for the voice of wisdom (or my mirror :-).
    Feeling young at heart? Yes can do. Mention this to my other half? No way, unless I want to sleep on the couch tonite.
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMay 23rd 2009
     
    sleeping on the couch? it means that your other half still have mercy on you....
    • CommentAuthorchouchou
    • CommentTimeMay 24th 2009
     
    Pig sty if she could afford. Right Carina?
  49.  
    You ladies are brutal. Glad she does not hang out with you all..whew. How about some supports, boys?
    • CommentAuthorCarina
    • CommentTimeMay 25th 2009 edited
     
    we, women of these modern days no longer send hubbies to the couch like our mothers used to do (mine did mucho times), we just 'freeze' your assets then give you the pink slip.hehe....

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